| Depression |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|06:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TV | ] |
Well, I guess I should update this, since it's been 12 weeks.
My depression is getting worse, and I'm seeing myself just drift slowly away from everything. I don't want to leave my apartment, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to hang out with anyone, and I don't know why. I'm finding myself crying on a daily basis from reasons I can't even figure out anymore, and I'm starting to hyperventilate. I'm scared, don't know what to do, and just want to start feeling happy again... |
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| 35 weeks |
[May. 1st, 2009|12:14 am] |
It's totally been 35 weeks since i last updated this thing.
My Mp3 Player got stolen out of my car the other day, and the radio around here has some pretty bad music, so I've been jamming out all day to talk radio.
Still with Kayla, and I refuse to let her go, she's my shmookie-poo.
Not much else new. Almost done with my GED pre-tests so I can go get the actual thing and continue my life. |
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| Simfile issues. |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|06:08 am] |
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| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I doubt anyone that this would relate to even reads this, but whatever.
I'm tired of people getting absolutely pissed off at me because I won't allow their files on my site. I try to be patient, explain things in every way possible, but nope, never enough. All I do is make people think that I am an egotistical asshole, and it's really getting to me. I look things over in as many angles as I can, I try and talk issues out, and it always fails. No matter how good of a friend I want to be, I just can't accept sub-par simfiles for my site, the only exception being House of Joy, because I was forced to add that one on (thanks for this shit eric).
I'm sorry Adam that I can't fucking be the all ends god of acceptance. You may not want to listen to what I have to say, but I can't just accept it. You may think it's perfect, good for you. Opinions are relative, what one person may think is gold, another may think is bronze. What one person may think to be wine, another may think it to be urine. It's all a matter of perspective and belief. This kind of goes to you too, Zach.
I'm not being egotistical for following the same beliefs I did when I first started. I'm being consistant and persistant. 90% of all files go through a god damn screening process, where I have to have at least 1-2 OTHER PEOPLE on the team look a file over before it's approved. I'm not sorry that I can't provide an immediate yes, it's how it goes, and people need to understand that. It's bullshit how no personal attacks have gone to anyone else on the team, even when they are just as much of a part of it as I am, and I'm seriously considering just closing the site and giving up because of this.
3 times in one month. I'm trying to be patient, but i'm tired of it. What do I have to do, become bemanistyle and be a dump spot for sup-par files?
IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH ANY OF OUR FILES, SAY IT, DON"T JUST KEEP IT IN AND USE THIS POST AGAINST YOU. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|08:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
Looks like someone got into my email and changed the password on me...
I guess I need a new email now xD |
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| Updated Livejournal AND myspace? Jeebus! |
[Jul. 14th, 2008|06:27 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Long & Junior - Usmiechnij Sie | ] |
It's 6 am, and I am still awake. Now why is this, you may ask?
Simply put, No clue xD I've developed a rather troublesome case of insomnia or something, and I see myself sleeping less and less more and more often. However, I find that I am able to sleep extremely well if there is a certain someone around.
Work-wise, things could be better, but they definitely could be worse. Tips are seemingly going all over the place,I'm doing great one day and the next 2-3 I do so terrible I can't see any real reason to keep my current job. The great thing about it though, is I get 2 days off a week guaranteed, and I can work pretty much whenever I want, having co-workers that actually DO want days off as well makes it so that getting the shifts that I desire is not only possible, but easy as poop.
Getting back into DDR again, finally. Been spending about 10-20 minutes a day copying all the charts off of DDR Universe 2 onto stepmania, so that I can play them on my feet. Minus a couple of them having some REALLY funky BPM changes (small ones that cause whole sections to be offbeat if they weren't there [i.e. Ska a Go Go]), it's all going well, though I swear to freaking god that there is an absolute ton of misrates. There is no way that half of the heavy 6 footers are 6s.
On that note, I am playing down at biggs a lot more now that they installed a USB hub. On average I am down once or twice a wek for an hour or two, and on occasion, all day, though there is a place I would rather be all the time other than there,
I'm going to visit my sister next weekend. This should be an adventure for the ages. I haven't seen her or even been down to the valley since my mom died, and I am a little worried about how I am going to handle it. I know I'll probably cry, since I will be staying in the house that I grew up in, and it holds a lot of memories, and I am a little worried about maybe having to see my cousins and other such relatives, but I am sure that I will be able to survive, and then possibly make my time. Move every zig? |
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| :-O |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|05:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
Battleship at 3am is a great time waster, until the person playing against you figures out your strategy and beats you 5 times in a row, before you can even sink 2 of their ships.
Reminder to self - Make it less obvious from now on, or at least get some sleep beforehand.
In other news, life is good, no complaints on this end :) |
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| A crime indeed :-O |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|01:26 am] |
Spork says:
I have an announcement
Spork says:
someone has partaketh of my trisquits without proper authorization
Spork says:
if anyone knows about this, please, contact me so that I may bequeath the proper punishment to all responsible parties
[Generic Name] says:
I ate a couple to try them, they were open when I got there. There is no crime here sir
[Generic Name] says:
they were delicious
Spork says:
Someone tried them before YOU?!
Spork says:
*ponders the incredible and unsolved mystery of the opened trisquits*
WHERE DID THEY GO AND WHO ATE THEM?! I MUST KNOW! |
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| stress again |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|12:53 pm] |
Got declined on that last house, making it 0/2. I'm severely running out of time, My lease ends on the 10th, and I still have to finish packing and such.
Eric's stuck at work again until monday, which leaves me short on any help down there, and everyone I've called off the internet (realtors and such) seem extremely rude or short on the phone. I'm getting really really stressed, and I'm starting to blow up now again, and I can't stand it.
GRAAAAAAAH. |
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| House AHOY, and other stuffs |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|05:52 pm] |
Moooooooooooooooooooooo!
Found a GREAT place in the springs, and the woman who owns it was so helpful it was kind of ridiculous.
Specs:
4 bedrooms
2 FULL bathrooms
2 Living rooms (One for company, one for gaming and such)
oversized 2 car garage
Garden
2 Storage Sheds out back
Only neighbors are deaf (literally) so no worries about noise :-O
1k a month, between 4 people, that's 250 each, plus utilities. On top of all the above, the woman will drop the pet deposit upon calling my landlord for confirmation on how sweet and innocent the cats are. She will also let us pay off the security deposit over 6 months so we don't have to pay so much out of pocket right away.
Click here for maaaaaap. College is about 2 miles away MAX.
<3<3<3
I'll know if Airy, Eric, Nancy and I got this on Monday, in which case, I'll soon be gone from the hellhole known as Longmont. At least, to me it is a hellhole.
This week, as well, I updated my site more than normal. 7 new songs to begin with :-D |
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| I cutter'd Musics again. Also, House search |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|01:39 pm] |
Well, I went ahead and cut a song while waiting for various rental web sites to open up.
Clicky Clicky?
I'm off thursday and Friday, so I will be down in Colorado Springs searching my ass off, and I sure hope Eric has been today and Wednesday.
I miss you Aiiiiiry! |
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